Making Space for Your Self (Care)
We are in year 3 of the Covid global pandemic and most of us are struggling to find our new normal. Many of us have lost jobs, homes, loved ones and endured more than we ever thought we would endure. These events under normal circumstances are overwhelming, but when you add in the added pressure that comes with Covid it can wreak havoc on a person mentally, physically and emotionally. I personally find that those stressors are more exaggerated for women. Our society undervalues us, and we are often left to fend for ourselves against the very people who are supposed to protect us. We are subliminally fed messaging that tells us not to take up too much space, to not be seen or heard but carry the world on our backs. Socially we are coaxed and goaded into "chasing that bag" and hustling 24/7. We are made to feel guilty and lazy for taking time to breathe. I am guilty of this. In my last therapy session as I was explaining to my therapist all of the things that had happened since January 2020, she stopped me and asked me, when did you take time to rest? I was so puzzled because I felt like running my own business from home and working from home was rest. She politely told me no and then proceeded to ask me for the number of things I do for my business, and I told her. She said to me, does that sound like rest?
It was in that moment that I realized that in caring for my mother prior to her passing, caring for my family, healing my trauma, losing friends, losing relationships, losing jobs, starting a business, losing my mom, rehabbing a house and giving up a life I had built that I never allowed myself the grace of just being. Yeah, I am sitting in those emotions and grieving, but I make myself get out of bed when I really want to curl up with a book because I don't feel allowed to. It wasn't until this conversation that I realized what self-care really meant. It has become such a trending, cliche statement that people just associate spending money and face masks with self-care. And while that is sometimes part of the process of caring for yourself; selfcare is really allowing yourself to take up space in this world without feeling like you have to constantly be earning or doing to have value. It is taking the time to sit in your emotions and feel them, process them and deal with them with or without the help of a therapist. Self-care is saying no. It is not answering the phone or responding to a text when you don't want to be bothered. It is establishing boundaries for yourself and not allowing the world to dictate to you your accessibility.
It is 100% ok for us to do nothing. In doing nothing we are still valuable. What's important is that you find the value in taking deep breaths. Find the value in mental health days, not just for you, but for your children also. Life is stressful and it's absolutely 100% ok for your house to get messy, for your car to be dirty, for your hair and nails to not be done. Let's start dictating to ourselves what is acceptable and not acceptable. We have so many teachings ingrained in us that we stress ourselves out over trying to uphold. Make space for yourself. Take the time to exam your belief system and understand why you believe what you believe. Open your mind to an awareness that you can outgrow thoughts and patterns and create new ones as you evolve as a person. That is how we truly care for self. Let's start reprioritizing what's important and make space for ourselves. Take up as much space as you want. Get rid of your toxic behaviors and create healthier (not skinnier or smaller) versions of yourself. Jeweline's Apothecary is more than a store to me. I want it to be more than a store that sells stuff for you, our customers. I want this community to grow into a place where women get questions answered, read the blogs and feel heard and seen and support small businesses while we endeavor to make you feel just as special as you and supporting you by providing quality products, information and encouragement.
Let's take up some space.
Sincerely,
LaTonja S.
Head Jewel in Charge
